“Wait, So is this a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, Is it a night out together?” we are joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Word

expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This occurrence is all about lesbian interconnectivity — starting up with friends’ exes, pals connecting with the help of our exes, and society produced by all those things crisis.

Arrive when it comes to gossip, remain for any emotional running. And before that enjoy a casino game that examinations Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally would not.)

Thank you so much for all your nice comments after all of our premier! When you haven’t however give consideration to giving us a rating or evaluate!

PROGRAM RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese come up with an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of all of the my passions.

+ Here’s
the essay
I reference in which I mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My m4m personalsal crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez introduced a music movie for her song
“Something to Say”
!

+ As anyone who has only viewed a small number of periods of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush regarding the few days C.C. Babcock was surprising if you ask me when it turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they fundamentally however tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I might be extremely good with it present. I would never add another person without their particular permission. Although concept of each time some one ended up being like, “Confirm that you are connected with me personally,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the existence i have stayed. I don’t care about.” Is the fact that weird? Usually problems?

Christina:

No, because if I happened to ben’t, I would feel bad not-being. I would end up like, “Wait, I am not lying?”

Theme song plays

Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Wait, Is It A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Wait, Is It A Romantic Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast asking the top questions. To begin with, is-it a romantic date? Preciselywhat are dates? Who’re dates? Do we like times? They are sorts of concerns that we answer about this here extremely pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am also an author at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the web. I will be recovering at describing myself personally as an author and, famously, a lesbian. Which is all of us. That’s just who our company is.

Drew:

Yeah. And thus all of our primary subject recently is The Chart.

Christina:

I simply believed it needed a sting. I don’t know. That believed actually dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank you, thanks. No, no, no. The proper level of crisis.

Christina:

Thank you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re writing on lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

Everyone loves that phrase because it feels like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds just like the connection to the internet is not operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely higher level, really innovative, but ‘s been around since there has been lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students would state whenever they found initial lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside of them carved in to the mud. And I also believe that’s exactly what that motion picture concerns, right? It’s about the data? That film with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cavern females. I’d view that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Well, when I have not viewed it, i will fearlessly point out that it was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got numerous lesbian duration parts, but we have now never ever gone straight back that far. And that I think it’s time we perform.

Christina:

Why don’t we only keep having it furthermore back in time.

Drew:

Before we obtain to our main subject, you are nonetheless getting to know us. And that I believed that it could be enjoyable playing a casino game for which you dudes could truly analyze Christina. So all of our icebreaker for this few days is actually slightly game that I call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, again, so stressed relating to this. This may you need to be the way in which I come in to the game. This might be my personal video game mindset, only a little high key, only a little stressed. That’s ok. All of us are discovering.

Drew:

I believe which is great. In my opinion that can make you more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

Among my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Just a horror, just a serious horror. Therefore the way that “Would U-Haul” works is i will explain a situation. Let us call it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m gonna pause after every small part as want, “Okay, Christina, i am aware which you have never resided with somebody, don’t want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will both say yes or we’ll say, “I’m all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — really, we will see right here. But i am excited. In my opinion i have maybe cracked the rule.

Christina:

You’ve damaged the signal? I am excited.

Drew:

Let us observe very long this requires. If in case there is a constant would, i believe you victory? I’m not sure exactly how there are winners here.

Christina:

I am not sure there exists champions inside the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I don’t know should you’ll go along with that following this. Therefore I’m getting heading.

Christina:

Fair adequate.

Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the pal’s marriage. Regardless of the plethora of romcoms you have consumed, you did not visit this wedding considering you’d meet any individual because, really, this is simply not a romcom. This is basically the actual and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your assigned chair and therefore are glancing at the phone whenever you recognize a female at your dining table wants at you. She introduces by herself as the pal’s former baby-sitter. She actually is remained a friend of family, but she does not truly know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She offers to allow you to get a drink. Once she gets up, you realize she’s six foot tall, 6′ 3″ in heels. So you know very well what? I am simply gonna hold on there and start to become want, at this point, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am intrigued. I’m captivated because I might get laid only at that wedding. But up until now I am not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is completely reasonable. Totally reasonable. Okay. So that you spend entire wedding getting to know one another. There is merely an instantaneous spark and instant chemistry. And certainly, you are doing get together additionally the gender is incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And this marriage was a student in Northern Ca. Which means you both extend your own remains for three days to screw and explore and consume at restaurants and fuck. And also you provide to divide the expense of the now mutual space, but she laughs you down and is love, “certainly perhaps not, honey.” So that the next 3 days are secret. You are feeling your wall space tumbling all the way down. You are dropping quicker than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

So just for clearness’s sake, I’m having difficulty imagining some sort of wherein I got three shock days away from work to spend time with individuals i really do not understand. That seems bonkers. But if used to do, advantageous to me. But i am not U-Hauling at this time. It’s going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s good. You only came across. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Many thanks much.

Drew:

So she comes back to New York while come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where I live.

Drew:

And you are texting constantly. This is where your home is and is in which this lady resides. And you are texting always and you see one another multiple times a month. She actually is very active with her work, but she’s quick purchase you a train admission so you’re able to appear see the girl and stay at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Immediately after which 6 months pass. Plus one evening when you are out over dinner, she asks one to move around in together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And move to Nyc? I do not love nyc. No, I am not moving in at the six months mark. I’m not performing that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold dating long-distance. She realizes that needed some time she actually is willing to anticipate you. More months move. It’s now been over annually. Your own property manager tells you that they are offering your place to a developer that is investing in condos, which means you cannot renew it. You’ll want to find a new spot. The today girlfriend lets you know that no stress, but her present however appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i’d U-Haul for two explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly reveal.

Christina:

Mostly, in a global whereby my property manager marketed my house to improve it, my property owner is my companion, to make certain that appears like anything has gone incorrect in our relationship. And I should just leave Philadelphia anyway. And in case I get to maneuver in with my girl over right here, that appears okay. That is okay. Completely great. But yeah, I think i would require an external energy like a mean landlord.

Drew:

Which is so — ok. I did believe that you’d want to require casing attain indeed there, and so I’m pleased I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is just what actually has got to eventually me personally initially.

Drew:

Really, i am grateful to know what it takes. So in theory, if you weren’t knocked away, simply how much longer?

Christina:

Genuinely, which could went on for quite some time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that definately not both. I got room over right here. We are bouncing backwards and forwards. We’re having good times. I really could have allow that roll for a long time until I guess Shoshana turns into the worst individual I know.

Drew:

I did not understand that Shoshana owned your own house. Really, there you go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that was exciting.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, becoming clear.

Drew:

And that I’m pleased that i am aware… possibly in case you are previously, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating both you and wants that relocate, maybe your girlfriend told Shoshana to sell the house in the interests of your own commitment.

Christina:

Genuinely the fastest way — somebody would simply have to keep in touch with Shoshana and become similar, “only kick this lady .” Right after which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, sure. Obviously.” That will be the way it took place, though she failed to offer the home. Some one would just be like, “Can you only kick the girl out thus she’ll merely get over it and relocate beside me?” And she’d state yes. A hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That is what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I love that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, personally i think like we discovered a great deal about you.

Christina:

Thanks A Lot. Personally I think like We learned a large number about myself, too. Threat of homelessness is actually the thing that keeps me personally transferring any circumstance, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is great.

Christina:

That has been truly thrilling. I am equally delighted to go into our primary portion because i do believe speaing frankly about lesbian connection with this specific visitor, with this unique guest, i do believe it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. How are you currently feeling?

Drew:

I am very excited. This really is specialized. And by that, i am talking about an

L Keyword

specialist, but some an expert from inside the subject in front of you.

Christina:

I think a couple of things tends to be real, my friend. I think a couple of things tends to be correct certainly. Can we would you like to introduce our very own guest or can we want our very own visitor to introduce by themselves?

Drew:

I would personally love our very own visitor to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I’ll point out that the guest will be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being weird to-be the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, it is.

Riese:

I had never to state everything. I did not actually take action. I did say things. I’d to sit right here silently.

Christina:

And also you had been truly daring. And your confronts had been appreciated.

Riese:

Thank-you plenty.

Christina:

Though this really is demonstrably a sound method, Needs our audience to understand that Riese had been producing some good effect confronts during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There’s many ways to get heard. Guess what happens What i’m saying is? That is what i usually say. I will be the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball team. That is certainly myself. I have your dog named Carol. And I have outdated folks.

Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!

Riese:

Many thanks. I’ve been a part of folks.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. That is great to carry for this, this here matchmaking podcast. That is good.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… Is there anything else?

Drew:

No, i do believe that is great, Riese.

Christina:

Anything you wish share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You Are Sure That when someone goes like…

Drew:

It is like when you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are gross, so I just exhausted all of them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, I right away thought of you for this subject.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because first, clearly, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian community have now been like, I am not sure, sex with people exactly who people they know had gender with since long before

The L Keyword

had been previously a sequence. But i actually do feel just like

The L Keyword

solidified a certain social notion of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like might have lots of understanding of this subject.

Riese:

It’s real. A couple of article writers, i wish to state, of

The L Word

had this genuine chart of them in addition to their pals they certainly were attracting throughout the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, was one. She chatted to united states regarding it, they had developed this. Because demonstrably, everyone in that writer’s space had fucked people inside copywriter — you are aware, together with extended internet of these generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And so they watched that and they were like, “Let’s put it during the show.” Several of them are on the data. Like, one particular just who … like, actual people are on the information as a joke.

Christina:

Which is amazing. Which is how you understand you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t that sweet?

Christina:

That would be exciting for me personally.

Riese:

And so when you yourself haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

first of all, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of just one of one’s direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has everything over the woman wall surface. Plus it could be the name of a web page they began labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. While the idea … And it’s in pilot, I think. In the 1st episode, Alice starts discussing exactly how everyone’s linked, because every person’s hooked up using this person. And that I can connect you, as if you’re probably no more than two degrees far from me personally. And this was true. Like, even with Dana, that has limited knowledge because she ended up being a closeted golf user, they still could actually connect her. That is certainly actuality since it is correct.

Christina:

Which is tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition appears like.

Riese:

Which is tradition. Which is queer society immediately. Now everyone else helps make their own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. In order for would end up being my personal after that concern, was have either of you made a chart? Because Really don’t believe i’ve, I am also variety of today thinking like, that was this a year ago seated at my house for easily didn’t generate a chart? Like, that was the purpose of that, truly?

Riese:

I do believe I’ve completed it in my diary, just as like … Because i love, I’m not sure, organizing details, i assume, as a thought exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, I think that is in addition why Im surprised that i’ven’t done it. I prefer the idea of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure precisely why it really is therefore interesting, however it is. It is interesting getting like, wow, many of these folks, they may be linked. It’s wild.

Drew:

About program, as soon as ourchart.com is devised, they’ve an authentic data that individuals can add stuff. And that I feel just like something you joked in regards to on

To L and Right Back,

nowadays individuals say continuously is much like, if this existed in a genuine means, nobody would put their own brands upon it, nobody would feel safe putting their names onto it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I would personally. I would end up being extremely great with-it current. I would personally never add somebody else without their authorization. But the thought of want, each and every time some one had been like, “Confirm that you’re attached to me,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, this is the life i have lived. I really don’t worry about.” Would be that unusual? Is that an issue?

Christina:

No, because if I becamen’t, i might feel poor not … I would wind up as, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that will actually deliver myself into a light moral stress about whom i’m as a person, everything I’m performing. Are we interesting? Carry out folks {like